Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
