And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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