I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we made out on top of his cat.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
