I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
