Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
