I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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