That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
