I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
