Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
