stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
