it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
time to smoke my breakfast
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
