I wish I could punch you in the face.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
