I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
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