I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
