Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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