I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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