FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
