There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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