Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize