Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
