tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i came on her dog
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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