she smelled like a LAN party
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
