brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Jerry, you need to find god
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
