is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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