LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
