who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
