I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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