I hate all girls vehemently.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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