so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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