i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
