I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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