Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
