How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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