You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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