Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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