Is it because I queefed?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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