Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
