Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
