Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
