FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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