Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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