Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize