I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Sorry about my life...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
