i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
