Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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