pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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