Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
