just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
