She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
