I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
