Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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