It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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