I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We were destined to go to rehab together
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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