the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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