I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
